This is an old post from Adam's Ale by Bridget who is now with the Sisters of Life and was featured in the MTV Video about her...
Just a year ago, I was sitting in my spiritual director’s office. I was in the depths of discernment, and when I say depths I mean deep dark places of confusion, uncertainty and doubt. If you have ever discerned any vocation or even asked God what His will is for something, I’m sure you have been in a similar place. (Aside: God wants us to trust Him totally because that is from where our greatest joy will come as He allows us to be emptied of everything so that He is all we have to cling to, as we realize His steadfast love and mercy). I had already applied to the Sisters of Life, and was awaiting a response from the Sisters. This particular day I was pouring out all the reasons I couldn’t be a Sister…
Giving up my dream of being a doctor, missing my family, not playing volleyball, not being around to watch my brother and sister grow up, not being around as my nephew grows up, being afraid of a forever commitment, asking my family to sacrifice as I go, not being present to my friends etc…
After listening intently to the list, a list he had heard many times from me, my Spiritual director simply and matter of factly asked… “ Is He worth it?”
Is He worth it? Is Christ who was calling me to Himself worth it? Is He worth the sacrifice of family and friends? Is He who came to us in a stable worth my stepping out into the unknown and unheard of? Is He who was stripped of His clothes worth my putting on blue and white forever? Is He who cared so little about money that He gave the money bag to Judas worth me renouncing all personal ownership and making a vow of poverty? Is He who was nailed to the Cross for me worth my nailing my heart to the Cross with His? Is He who gave me life worth my giving my life back to Him? Is He who called the children to Himself worth giving up marriage and bearing my own children? Is He worth it? It is a simple question and requires a simple answer with astronomical implications.
The truth is, He IS worth it. He who is Love Himself came to us, to become one with us. He came to us so that our humanity might be lifted up into his divinity, both now here on earth and eternally. He who knew more deeply the pain the pain of separation from His heavenly Father and His dear Mother, He who knew He was calling His mother to a pierced heart, called Her anyway. And He exalted Her also. He who is love Himself, who pours Himself out to us continuously through the Eucharist. He who humbles Himself to come into our Hearts at every Mass, will bring us the greatest peace and joy when we surrender our hearts to His will and His Love. He will never be out done in generosity and so when we give our Hearts He will give us 100 fold in return. Mt 19:29
After being with the Sisters of Life for nine months and in preparing to enter the novitiate, I have come to know beyond the theoretical, through the intimate encounter with Christ who is my love and the source of all I am, that when I fall into His arms, despite the pain of sacrifice, He will guide me and lead me and take care of all my loved ones. He will shower His grace into my heart and bring me joy and peace than I could have never imagined. We were worth His dying, we were worth His thinking us into existence. He who is the omnipotent, ruler of the universe and intimately gentle lover of our souls is worth all we can give to Him.
Just a year ago, I was sitting in my spiritual director’s office. I was in the depths of discernment, and when I say depths I mean deep dark places of confusion, uncertainty and doubt. If you have ever discerned any vocation or even asked God what His will is for something, I’m sure you have been in a similar place. (Aside: God wants us to trust Him totally because that is from where our greatest joy will come as He allows us to be emptied of everything so that He is all we have to cling to, as we realize His steadfast love and mercy). I had already applied to the Sisters of Life, and was awaiting a response from the Sisters. This particular day I was pouring out all the reasons I couldn’t be a Sister…
Giving up my dream of being a doctor, missing my family, not playing volleyball, not being around to watch my brother and sister grow up, not being around as my nephew grows up, being afraid of a forever commitment, asking my family to sacrifice as I go, not being present to my friends etc…
After listening intently to the list, a list he had heard many times from me, my Spiritual director simply and matter of factly asked… “ Is He worth it?”
Is He worth it? Is Christ who was calling me to Himself worth it? Is He worth the sacrifice of family and friends? Is He who came to us in a stable worth my stepping out into the unknown and unheard of? Is He who was stripped of His clothes worth my putting on blue and white forever? Is He who cared so little about money that He gave the money bag to Judas worth me renouncing all personal ownership and making a vow of poverty? Is He who was nailed to the Cross for me worth my nailing my heart to the Cross with His? Is He who gave me life worth my giving my life back to Him? Is He who called the children to Himself worth giving up marriage and bearing my own children? Is He worth it? It is a simple question and requires a simple answer with astronomical implications.
The truth is, He IS worth it. He who is Love Himself came to us, to become one with us. He came to us so that our humanity might be lifted up into his divinity, both now here on earth and eternally. He who knew more deeply the pain the pain of separation from His heavenly Father and His dear Mother, He who knew He was calling His mother to a pierced heart, called Her anyway. And He exalted Her also. He who is love Himself, who pours Himself out to us continuously through the Eucharist. He who humbles Himself to come into our Hearts at every Mass, will bring us the greatest peace and joy when we surrender our hearts to His will and His Love. He will never be out done in generosity and so when we give our Hearts He will give us 100 fold in return. Mt 19:29
After being with the Sisters of Life for nine months and in preparing to enter the novitiate, I have come to know beyond the theoretical, through the intimate encounter with Christ who is my love and the source of all I am, that when I fall into His arms, despite the pain of sacrifice, He will guide me and lead me and take care of all my loved ones. He will shower His grace into my heart and bring me joy and peace than I could have never imagined. We were worth His dying, we were worth His thinking us into existence. He who is the omnipotent, ruler of the universe and intimately gentle lover of our souls is worth all we can give to Him.
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